Benjamin Franklin said it best, “They that can give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.”
I keep hearing on the news about how I am supposed to be all in a dither about the newest TSA security regulations for passengers on airplanes. The problem is, I'm really not all that upset.
Why? Because I don't fly much.
Lets look at this logically. I mean, the TSA has caught tones and tons of people sneaking bazookas, bombs, knives and guns onto planes since 9/11 right?
Right?
No, case in point they haven't.
Not once.
Never.
Zip.
Nada.
What they have done is catch average everyday travelers with maliciously sneaking ultra-dangerous shit like mouthwash, toothpaste, aerosol cans, wine bottles (me) and baby formula on planes. Ruthless criminals who do that sort of thing should be punished severely by having their offending personal belongings confiscated.
Seems equitable. Right?
So this new scanning technology. It's brand new. Only been around a year or two. Should be safe right? Undoubtedly it been thoroughly tested over time to see what the long term effects are. Right?
Oh, I guess not, its new technology. Oh well, X-Rays are perfectly safe right?
Anyway, I mean, all it does is to X-Rays-zap off all of our clothes. then somewhere, someone looks at our naked pictures and tries to tell whether or not we have a bomb stuck up our butt. Right?
No. It can not detect the newest weapon in the suicide bomber arsenal. An internal bomb.
All it can do is see under your clothes. They'll probably detect TONS of dangerous contraband like colostomy bags, thongs and jewelry. Maybe some pens and pencils too. Oh, and whether I'm wearing boxers or briefs.
So then, finally, my alternative to cancer, or 'The NeverEnding TSA Peep Show' for frequent flyers is to have someone play with my junk for a minute or so. Or to put in another way, this is a serious attempt to verify if that thing in there is a penis or a 12 inch (or so...) cylindrical wad of C4 rigged to a battery in my ass.
Right on. Like I said, I don't fly much.
3 comments:
Seriously hilarious. Are you sure you didn't fly this week: http://failblog.org/2010/11/23/epic-fail-photos-probably-bad-news-tsa-fail/.
I flew Monday and opted for the scan. I was secretly hoping that it would cause me to gain super powers.
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